It is really great if I could share it with someone but until now, I still do not have one.
+Study
Everyone now is so busy preparing for the final IB exams which are 20 days away from now. Some are already busy with their university application where I am unsure about where to go, what to pursue, etc etc. I think I should focus on my exam first and think about the rest later. However, those things are still haunting no matter what. I really wish that I could go overseas to start my new life there, my life here is so messed up. Hong Kong should be a good option. I am looking forward to go back to my hometown- enjoy a portion of my life for a moment and try to get a job to earn some income during my break before continuing to university.
+Sin
Yeah, I really could not forgive myself until now for what I have done. It is not entirely wrong after all but there is still guilt left in my heart. I want to stop it but the irony is I feel rather happy there.
+Friends
It seems that I have a extremely high expectation about what a friend should be. I know it is unfair to my friends as I myself is not really a good friend for them. I think I should shut my mouth sometimes - just learn to accept and listen to them. Moreover, it is around two months before we are separated from each other. I hope we can still keep in touch and I am sure that by then, I will miss all of them. Please forgive me if I have ever made scars in your heart.
+Future
I had a difficult time sleeping most of the time recently. I keep thinking about the day when we receive our IB result in which my father will come to Singapore. I do not know why but I am scared.
+Figure
It is important to have a figure in life - role model or at least someone that you admire. It is weird that the closer I am to a person, the easier for me to slightly look down at them. Is it human nature or just me? It is even weird that I sometimes admire people who are purely strangers that I see on the road, restaurant, or anywhere. Other than that, I am highly affected by a character in a movie. I know that all of those in a movie is fake, they are just a fake plot. However, I still feel envy and such.
+Past
Past has increased the history collection of my life, and present has become past while future has gradually turns to present. I really missed my old self, innocent, not knowing anything about this world, chatting with my parents, and have a good self-confident. All the memories of taking pedicab and public transport with my mother and etc. Time cannot be turned back, I know. I just miss them so much.
+Ambition
This is a question that usually the adults asked us when we were still kids. All kind of answers are mentioned - such a big dreams. Are they fading away, and new dream rises? Is it true we can dream big and it will become true? Is not life is about finding money and not happiness? People say money is not important but they are still dying for seeking job to earn money. Is it true to follow our heart and pursue our dream, how about if those who are close to you do not agree?
So, when will I feel happy about my life? Is happiness temporary while sadness is permanent?
I think it is time for me to start studying. Night.
"Everything together was the music of life" - Siddhartha
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