School?

Is school really important, very useful, and promising our future?

There was a topic something about this somehow (eventhough it is supposed to be living a good life) --

Actually I also confused, whether excel in school is very very important--?
Whether building closer relationship with friends is more important?
I definitely say that relationship is more important but somehow,
I cant just neglect my school work. I feel that I have my responsibility-heart in schoolwork.
At the same time, I cant really cope with the relationship that I have with my friends- some, can- but some of them, I just cant follow the way I think.
That is why sometimes I decide to be independent (and now on I think I should be more independent). No more waiting for friends for silly funny thing but to have more decision on what I should do. Like what people say, you wont jump into the well when other people tell you so.

Talking too much is maybe my another problem. From now on, I think I should cut down unnecessary talk. Should it make me look more mature, it even better.

On the other hand, putting to much serious thing in school, it will lead to less fun that I will get during my youth time. So, this is the difficult part: where is the line?

Grades do not seem that #1 important in life, but pressure that keep me stressed.
Family? - eventhough they dont really mind if I get what I can, as long I put in my effort.
But, how about scholarship, kiasu and lazy peers (somehow they affect me), teachers, and many others.

I want to enjoy life, but it seems impossible in this state.
Should I enjoy in this manner. and i have no choice. It is life- it is fate.

Step back, Stay, and Reflect

It has been a long time since the last time I wrote a post in this blog.
So difficult to find time in the midst of IB life.

I have no idea whether the gap between IB and secondary life is really that big,
or is it because the late start of school this year-
or is it just fated to be like this?

Weekend now doesnt really like a weekend.
Weekdays now become more intensified as weekdays.

I dont want to extend day to be more than 24hours so that I can finish my IB life asap
but at the same time I dont have enough time to finish my work eventhough I can quite cope with the datelines.

I am going to India in two weeks time. Hope it is not affected with the swine flu issue, so it wont be cancelled.

I feel so confused-- with life-- with friends, and other things.
I do envy some people
and I dont know why people are just too unique until we cant really open to each other.
Some people are just very irritating but some are quite good to be with.
Even I say so, I do think that I am irritating for some people.
Sometimes I want to do good things, but ended up worse.
From now on, I think I will stay close within myself- not locking the door within me but at the same time I wont really expose myself- keeping most of things myself and find the correct person to share what I can share to others.

Currently I think I only close to less than 5 people.
Really looking forward to meet each one of them- celebrating birthday and etc.

I feel so wrong to be me-
I think I just dont fit with my peers, not because I am outstanding in a sense that I am good but I think I am outstanding in a sense that I am awkward.

If people do think that they know how much I envy other people, I still think they do not know how much that I envy people.

Now, nothing much can be done-
I only can try to finish this 1.5years of my scholarship and see how thing goes.

There are still many things that I can write- maybe next time.

Most of my posts might sound that I never appreciate good things. I do appreciate them, but most of the times bad things tend to pull all my mood down and cover up those good things.