Flowers.

Well done!
How many flowers have I killed everyday?
Now I feel like a destroyer.
Killing all the growing flowers.
Once, someone says that
"Friendship and trust are like flowers"
I have two choices: water or burn them.

My childhood has gone
18 now- age of maturity?

Why can't I get my old life?
Why can't I have normal friends?
Or am I the one who is abnormal?
Now I don't even know how to go through my own life.
What's the point of giving people advice while I can't survive my own?

Now I am walking down the road.
Crowded but I am empty.
It is going to rain.
My eyes too.

People come to this world with nothing.
And they leave things behind when they leave.

Good. Now I am really clueless.

Envy is the word.
To many people out there who can hang out with their friends, play sports, visit each other house, talk crap, karaoke, etc.
Pity me.
This is the wrong circle that I have taken.
Time to erase- everyone from that circle.
And I will say good bye.

I hope the next day is going to be easy.
Making friend is just like saying "what's your name"
Making good friend is just like saying "do you want to go out with me"
And making best friend is just like saying "Can I talk to you?" when there is noone to turn to.

The cup is always empty.
Waiting someone to pour in.

I have no idea who is close and far.
I have no idea who hates or likes me.
I have no idea who i am.

Pretend to be good.
I am an asshole.
Pretend to be hardworking.
I am a crap.
Pretend to be smart.
I am stupid.

Everyday I woke up.
I have no idea what is ahead of me.
I am sure that everyone too.
I have nothing to hold one.
I am sure that not everyone likes me.

Everytime I look back.
I am sad.
Am I proud?
Am I worth to live?
I am done with all of these.

You can say as many times as you want,
"You can change! You have to be sure!"
Shut up! Don't just say! Tell me how!

Looking at the new generations.
They are very talented.
Much better than me, of course.
I am nothing.
I just want to live my life.
Remove me from your list of life.

20 Dec

Woke up
Play LAN
Dinner
Went home.

Bought an album to keep all my movie tickets.
I think I should give up on buying a bag-
use my old kipling bag.

+++++++++

Next things to get:
- earphone
- usb port extension

+++++++++

I am going to move to my new room soon~
Make it a neat and condusive one- and lasts for a year.

+++++++++

My brain is so messy right now ): argh!

Happy Birthday LVA !!

I was supposed to meet LVA at 9am then I overslept by 10minutes.
Lucky I saw his sms. I rushed into the toilet and washed my face.
Grabbed the gift that I have prepared and met him!
Good that he likes the gift that I gave him. :D
Happy birthday LVA!!~
I was talking quite a lot of things with him!

+++++++++++++++

Then I went to Orchard for lunch buffet with my workmates.
Having a good time at Seoul Garden Taka there :D
We were eating for more than 3 hours. hehs.

+++++++++++++++

After that, the madness starts!
With yuyue as a photographer and the rest as the models.
We take a lot lottsss of pictures.
CRAZY pictures. SHAMELESS.
Haha. I dont have the picture now ):
He is going to upload the pictures!! HAHA.
ROCKS!~ damn happy.

We took picture with Heinenken beer stall, Deers along orchard road, telephone box, Ferrero Rocher christmas tree, Taka christmas tree, Seoul Garden, 313 Somerset Rooftop, ZARA.

OMG. People are looking at us! We are shameless~ thick skin!
So proud :D

++++++++++++++++

After that, we went shopping but I didnt get anything.
I want to get a new bag actually but it didnt happen.

++++++++++++++++

Very tired. Now need to finish the list of logistics then can sleep~
I think tomorrow I am going to LAN and have dinner outside with my friend at Bugis.

Amazing Race Pit Stop in Singapore?

Today planned to go to work late :D
Woke up at 9am.
Did some orientation proposal work (almost finish! yes!) - need to do logistics after that.
Went to KFC for brunch. Having my own sweet time there.
Then took bus to my workplace.
Nah~ When I sat down, there was this guy reading The New Paper.
I was reading too :D
What shocking me is that Amazing Race is coming to Singapore for a pit stop.
I am bloody excited o_O
I hope I can join Amazing Race next time. ARGH!

+++++++++++++++++++

Yesterday I was watching Avatar3D with my workmates.
The movie is relatively long for a 3D movie.
But it is great~ worth-watching.
Eventhough I disagree with my friend that he said I should watch it 10x. haha.
Sorry LVA. :D
He is so obsessed with it.
But I wont disagree that the 3D effect is cool.

After movie, we went to hunt some food.
Plaza Sing is fully crowded.
Ran to Fish and co. ~ no seats for ten.
We went into Park Mall, hoping to see some glimmers of hope there.
We decided to go to Han's ~ not fabulous but ok to fill my empty tummy.

And we took pictures there.
Sad that ms.F was having a date~ HAHA!
and her movie-spoiler movement has failed to ten of us! RAWR.

+++++++++++++

Two days ago I was watching a movie that I missed out last time.
"The Proposal"


It is supposed to be a comedy movie but I cried on a particular section.
Phew~ a 4/5 for that movie :D

+++++++++++++

Now, back to work- proposal.

STRESSED

I am STRESSED! Work Work Work Work Work. Bah!

-----------

Have a great new chapter of life, Justin Foo! All the best!

Advance Farewell to Justin Foo

Justin:

Thanks for the great times of knowing you this long!
Just want to wish you all the best for the new chapter of your life tomorrow.
Be a great chef and dont forget me~
I'll miss ya! Keep in contact~

--------------------------------------------------------

Morning - as usual.
Today was busy doing poster, need to submit it tomorrow to my supervisor.
Tonight I must plot the graphs and include them in the poster.
I am sure that I dont want to be a researcher in the future. Blerrrkk.

Afternoon - as usual.

Evening - KFC for dinner and went home.

oh ya~ today mr Yapyap bought new iphone and a bag~ :D nice one~
I feel like getting new bag but up to now, I still dont know where to get~ uhh.
Nvm, I still have Christmas shopping spree day~

This Thursday I am planning to make my debit card :D yey!
Then a*star group is going to watch AVATAR 3D! Hope it is going to be really good.

This Saturday is Seoul Garden lunch buffet with A*Star group again :D yey~

I am thinking of getting E!Pass for Cathay (thinking of going for movies spree after attachment is over) HEHE! But I dont know how to get one ):
Recently, I applied for so many cards. Last week was applying for Pastamania membership.
Woopz~ I think I should get bigger wallet HAHA. :3

Nah, I was chatting with Siyuan in QQ and he showed me his picture in Beijing with his girlfriend. Glad that he had a great vacation there :D I am here- working attachment )):

This Wednesday I am going to stay over at my friend's house and he's getting me something from Australia :D YEY!

This weekend I suppose to have a dinner with my friend, AY. But he never confirms it.. Perhaps I should post the thing that I want to pass to him. As usual, he seldom replies my message- or very slow.

Now I should do my poster work. RAWR!

The Princess and Frog

As usual, I woke up at 9am this morning.
I think I was doing some nonsense until 12pm.
Then I went to Orchard with Yujin to watch this movie
I will rate it 4/5. Apparently, it is great~ hilarious and the message is great too! musical, romance, sad, and humorous. a real twist of Disney piece of art!

Then we went to eat Pastamania~
I applied for membership card. hehs. :D
I bought books that my sister wants and helped yujin to get his hairdrier.

This afternoon was a sunny rainy day~
We went home around 5pm. Slept in the bus.

Reached home and uploaded pictures in facebook. Quite a number of them :D hehs~
go check it out.
Then went to Broadway to eat charsiew rice as usual.

Back to boarding school, go to dining hall- doing my chinese homework.
It is really tough~ HELP!
Thanks to Yujin who always help me~ haha.

Nah, now I need to work on my JCRC, Interact, and a*star..
Need to get things done!

Starting Chinese ab Homework

Today I woke up at 9am.

Then I had a sudden feeling of going to LAN shop to play.

HAHA. I was playing L4D2 for around one hour and another two hours playing AuditionSEA. Hehs. I leveled up liao~

After that I had my lunch Tokyo Shin.

I think I ate jap food at wrong timing, was not enjoying it that much.

In the afternoon, I was playing tennis with Yujin and Siyan.

Yujin can play well and Siyan was just started playing tennis.

However, he was quite good for a new player :D

I never play tennis for quite a long time and I used wrong hand-style for forehand and backhand. Hehs. No wonder my hits were very weird.

We were having fun :D

Siyan's first time :D

Pro Yujin~

Then Yujin and I went to Queensway. He bought tennis balls and wristband~

and eventually, we ate McDonald's :D Seaweed fries~~ hehs.

Back to boarding school~ He was teaching me Chinese for my homework

Lots and lots of new words~ brrrr.

I think I should start practicing my Chinese now~ or else I wont be able to do my IB exam.

Tomorrow I am going to Orchard with him to watch movie, lunch, get a hairdrier for him and book for my sister.

End of the day~ I am going to take shower and watch youtube later.

Eyyyyyyy!

Go check this link.

CUTE MADNESS!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErMWX--UJZ4&feature=topvideos

See ya.

Another Weekend

I was thinking to write blog yesterday but was too tired~
So will write about it now.

Yesterday I went to work in the morning
and I received a SMS from my groupmate that she could not come.
Perfect~ was slacking the whole day. Literally the whole day.
Poster is on due~ hehs.

I went home early to meet my new friend.
It was an absolute mistake.
Stupid.

Then, I decided to have my dinner in boarding school with my juniors
and happen to see some people from my batch there (:
The food was horrible though )):

Then staying under the sky for a chat for a while
after that we went to MPH to play badminton.
Quite nice game :D
I was playing with Siyan, Yujin, Nguyen, and Viet Anh.

As I reached my room, I was doing all random stuff and took shower.
Watching THE APPRENTICE UK Season 3 Episode 6. Then go to sleep.

Nah, my plan today is to play tennis with Yujin, accompany him to go to Queensway, and have dinner there.

Ah~ now have the sudden feeling to go to LAN shop and play AUDITION and L4D2. Hehs.
I shall take shower now, have my bite there and play for 3 hours. ~~

"Last" Meeting -

This morning went to work, as usual.
TGIF tomorrow.

Slacking day but need to finish a poster by next wednesday.
Try to finish it with my partner tomorrow.
Then can slack again.

Lately so many things are stuck in my mind,
and Im just hanging in there.

I just back from a farewell dinner with Justin.
It was better that what I expected~
sharing some life story and etc.
It has been great to know him,
and it is sad to know that he is leaving.
Anw, all the best for him and good to know that he didnt regret to know me as his friend. Hope he likes the stuff the I get for him and all the best for his study and future career.

I want my holiday

Half of my holiday has gone.
gone.
Everyday has to go to work.
so busy.
Poster.
Proposal.
Logistics.
Etc.
Unending.
I need my pure holiday. )):

Having a bad cough too now.
Argh..

Working has been a daily routine for me. Nothing much to say.
Cracking new jokes everyday.

))):

Reformat

Heeee~ today woke up at 8. Instantly remembered that I need to meet TX at CCK. He helped me to reformat my laptop (the whole thing) and now my laptop is back to normal ;D YEY! Can use my friend's broadband already and now I am downloading AuditionSEA. ROFL. No need to go to LAN to play liao~ HAHA.

Thanks a lot TX! ;D

Then after that I went with my chinese junior -Kiddy- to Bugis. He is supposed to collect his free laptop bag but apparently the shop asked him to go to Funnan Center. ~diao** And he went to Funan last week, asked him to go to Simlim square. Aiyah~
Maybe if i have time next weekend will help him to go to Orchard and Funan. Hmm.

Nah, yesterday I went to Orchard with 6 of Chinese juniors. Show them around and wanted to watch N16 movies but the ticket seller was asking for their ICs. They dont have it with them. So, ended up watching me shopping gifts for my friend.

Sneak preview: Next thursday I am going to have dinner with my friends ;D

Uhm, starting tomorrow I think I will do sport and try to shape my body. Hehs.

Tomorrow work again~ uhHhh. But it is good too, meet friends again. Hehe.

Today must finish the proposal to submit to my boss. I will not sleep before I finish it. RAWR.

Reformat

Heeee~ today woke up at 8. Instantly remembered that I need to meet TX at CCK. He helped me to reformat my laptop (the whole thing) and now my laptop is back to normal ;D YEY! Can use my friend's broadband already and now I am downloading AuditionSEA. ROFL. No need to go to LAN to play liao~ HAHA.

Thanks a lot TX! ;D

Then after that I went with my chinese junior -Kiddy- to Bugis. He is supposed to collect his free laptop bag but apparently the shop asked him to go to Funnan Center. ~diao** And he went to Funan last week, asked him to go to Simlim square. Aiyah~
Maybe if i have time next weekend will help him to go to Orchard and Funan. Hmm.

Nah, yesterday I went to Orchard with 6 of Chinese juniors. Show them around and wanted to watch N16 movies but the ticket seller was asking for their ICs. They dont have it with them. So, ended up watching me shopping gifts for my friend.

Sneak preview: Next thursday I am going to have dinner with my friends ;D

Uhm, starting tomorrow I think I will do sport and try to shape my body. Hehs.

Tomorrow work again~ uhHhh. But it is good too, meet friends again. Hehe.

Today must finish the proposal to submit to my boss. I will not sleep before I finish it. RAWR.

Another EE DAY

I am busy with my EE the whole day and up to now, I havent done my EE. ARGH!

I was doing my EE at my workplace.
Now I am eating.
Later going to finish my EE.
Tomorrow I am going to submit my EE.

AW!

Today I didnt do anything about the project in my workplace. Huff!
Tomorrow there will be MOE interview as well as lecture for me and my partner.

Ciao~ eat my packed dinner and go do my EE.
Sorry cant online on QQ. (busy)

Two days more to EE submission

Just back from work.
Today woke up late at 8:20am and still can reach work at 09:00am. Tomorrow should wake up later. Haha. Tomorrow morning will be doing my EE at my 'office' because my partner is not going to be around in the morning. She will come late at 2pm perhaps. 2-4pm will be doing some modeling work in the lab then try to go home early to finish up my EE. My EE must be done by tomorrow, no matter what..

Today was having lunch at Capricorn Cafe which is quite expensive compared to the other places that we went for lunch. It was because of the rain. Duhh~ Anyway, it was another good day today at workplace.

I was having dinner at Clementi with my roommate. We were eating japanese food and then decided to play LAN at Clementi there. Two of our schoolmates saw us there (which I dont really know who but apparently both of them know me) so we ended up playing L4D for a while. It was quite fun but it is always difficult to be the survivors. I prefer to be the infected. Haha. I want to play more!! MY HOLIDAY! RAWR!

Suddenly remember that i have 8 past year papers Chinese homework. ARRGH!

Nah, I am going to continue with my EE now.

First day of Decembe12

This morning wanted to reach work late but ended up early because the bus arrived just when I needed them.

Today my groupmate didnt come in the morning because she was excused. Good thing, I could translate my EE interview and include them into my appendix. My EE draft due this friday, 4th december! )): HELP. Need to rush everything then i will go for LAN spree! RAWR.

Uhm. Having a great time knowing all my friends in the institution that I worked in. Having our picnic, main office, and LAME JOKES. Love to hear their laughters and their facial expressions.

My groupmate and I were thinking about penguins for our penguins-alike supervisor and his friend. Then SUDDENLY his friend said that today is our supervisor's birthday! ~diao~ then my groupmate and I are thinking to get him something penguin-ish. Perhaps we are going to give him on Wednesday. LOLS. Interesting~

This weekend I am planning to go watch movie with my juniors- i believe most of them are PRCs. It is great to know all of them! :D I think it will be something like bringing a lot of children to the town! Hehs.

Next weekend need to meet my friend who is leaving Singapore to become a chef. I got him some things already though. I am not sure how is the atmosphere going to be when I met him. It has been quite some time for us to talk and meet.

Oh ya, the lunch today was great! :D hoping to go there again for lunch with my workmates. Then we were thinking to have a Seoul Garden party one of the weekends :D YEY! SOUNDS GREAT~ looking forward to it. Then my blackberry was turned to STRAWberry in the bus on my way back home because I could not find how much is the student price for buffet in Seoul Garden. RAWR.

Now I am going to take shower and continue my last portion of interview translation and move on to complete my Extended Essay!

Letters for Various People

It has been a long time for me not writing a post in my blog. At this moment I would like to write letters for some people.

To Justin:
I am very sorry for all the wrong things that I have done in your life. I know it is very difficult for you to forgive me but I really hope you can forgive me completely. I enjoyed your companion in the past: the time you brought me to your church, the time in the car while your mom was driving, the moment you worked in my school canteen, the time you cooked a wonderful dish, the moment I visited you in your house, the time when I met you at Broadway, the tar that you made specially for me, the moment you accompanied me to buy my new phone, the lengthy smses, the left for dead that you allowed me to play in your room, and many more things that cant be mentioned here. Thanks for everything. I do not know how to apologize to you and I am really thankful to know you in my life. For your future life out there, please enjoy yourself and become a good chef. It is great that you have known what you wanted to be since you were young. All the best and I hope you will not forget me.

To Alan:
I am grateful to know you, even I only met you twice only. Good to hear that you have good friends around you. I am sorry too for bad things that I have done to you. It is really interesting to know you. You have been a very nice friend of me, being someone that always positive-minded. Thanks!

To my family members:
I am very sorry if I have let you down for many times. It is just uncountable. I might have become a bad son, a bad brother, a bad family member. I hope you all forgive me.

To my mom:
I do not know where you are. Wherever you are, I might said this only once to you: I love you. I might only hug you twice. I miss the time when you slept beside me, fed and taking care of me when I was sick. You always said that I am a good boy, I am an independent boy. I don’t know if I am one now. I am sorry if I disappointed you. I am sorry that I was not there when you went away forever. The last call that you made for me – and everything else are just a living memory in my heart now and forever. I cant stop crying now. Time flies so fast. Many things have changed without you – in our family too, including me I think. You have been a very good example for me: simple but beautiful. Thanks mom. Love you. Wish you a very good night everyday. Please do visit me anytime, I miss you so much.

To my friends:
Thank you for accompanying me most of the times- whenever it is. I might not understand how precious all of you are. Thanks for being great friends of mine.

I do not know what will happen tomorrow onwards but I hope that it will be better and I will not repeat the same mistake that I have made and stick to my promises.

this is life

Life is not always like what we want.
It is not always like what other people want.
Most of the times, people are just an irritating source of life experience.
However, remember this:
if you are irritated because of them- we are losing many things in our lives.
So, just move on because they are the ones who are left behind.

In this life, there are many irritating characteristics of people:
(and some people have all of these irritating characteristics in themselves)
1. double-faced
this kind of person is the one who backstab you and pretend to act nicely in front of you.
You feel like punching his face but you should not because you know you are better than him.

2. racist
we always think that racism only happens in a particular situation.
However, it is not, there are people who are racist about nationality.
Such an embarrassing creature! You only can realize this when you become the subject of the racism. For my case, it is an ironic. Dont ask me why, because I know that kind of person is a loser.

3. thirst of power and respect
This characteristic is quite subtle so you need to be more careful with this type. They often brag about themselves or their work. This is to show that he has done something very brilliant. The others agreed but not until he bragged about it. So, in order to solve this kind of problem: just stay humble because you know his head is just too big.
However, this kind might bring consequences like consuming your time because he thinks he is so excellent and important so that he can order you with anything he wants without looking at the condition.

In addition, when you feel lonely:
go watch a movie with friends that can make you better - get some inspirations because movies are great! - there are many good messages that are conveyed across to us! it is just whether you can feel and see them.

A note for my friend:
remember that a stead is only one.
and friends are unlimited.
when you have chosen the only one and neglecting the unlimited ones, you are actually making a long-term decision. you have lost our respects, our words are nothing to you.
People say, the whole world is only for the couple when they fall in love. It is true because you are living in the alien world while the rest are still having a normal life in this normal world.

It is like what my gan kor said long long time ago:
friends are like flowers. they are living thing. you can choose to water the flower or just neglect the flower. But, remember that once the flower withered, you cant reincarnate them- you have lost the trust of a friend. For me, it is a struggle for me to keep all these flowers- i am trying to but it is a difficult thing to me.

To all my flowers: i am sorry. forgive me.

Shut up

Sometimes we need to learn how to
shut up.
even if ceteris paribus assumption is not applied

because you do not know what is the consequences ahead of your words.

Simply just shut up.

Starting from this year,
Craziness has began.
Hunted by various invisible monsters,
Over and
Over works again.
Life - this is what you call "life".

Extremely 'great' supervisor
Extraordinary piece of work

Flung out from society;
Roasted by all of your words;
Independent wanna-be;
Extremely annoying;
Now, does this exist:
"Don't worry,
So just be happy"?

So what I shall do?
Exempting myself from society,
Live this life blindly, or
F* what have happened?

Listening to a series of melody
which gives a sense of harmony
Behind the curtain was a number of souls,
and I know some of these souls
- behind those faces lie wonderful souls

Once or twice, I oversimplify
And I start to classify
- stereotype, that's how you call it
Today they have proved it:
that I am totally wrong about it

Then the intermission has ended
Everything has to be resumed
What I want is to restart
A whole new chart
from my ex-wicked heart

I saw them performing
but Im not sure if they saw me watching
All of these are just self-initiative;
Some are responsive, appreciative
The rest are just indifferent.

Post activity is at the opposite road
Merging the unusual roads
- this seldom happens
Sitting with some cliche so-called friends:
never know that might be your true friends

I write this blog in the darkness
It reflects myself, I'm hopeless
Indescribable sadness
Unidentified bottomless sources

I write this blog under my blanket
It represents my hidden heart
What I want is a ticket
to show how I should restart

I write this blog alone
It makes me feel like a stone
I hope one day there will be someone
And I hope she is the one

I write this blog on my way to school
Lately I feel I am a fool
I am used as a tool
And now I know this world is cruel

XOXO Gossip Girl

Cehh- this weekend I never do any work *diao*

Instead, I watched Gossip Girl Season 1.
It is super good. ((: love it <3
I have learnt a lot from the storyline.
Idk how to express it, just feel so good when watching.

In addition,
looking at my REAL friends around in hostel make me better.

I really dont know how to express it.
It is just an overwhelming great feeling.

NDP is today! I go watch the preview with fellow boarders and hostel staff.
*as well as enjoying the food and drinks provided*

Dash -

Few days ago, as usual, it was a morning devotion.
Interestingly, that day the topic caught my attention.
The speaker was not very convincing however, the content is really meaningful.

She was talking about dash (-)
Short, seems useless.
but it has a lot of meaning inside
1991 - xxxx
The dash is placed between my years.
The dash is created by me and at the end of the day, when xxxx has come, people will reflect back and see how what we have done to our dash.

------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a short story shared inside a book that I have just bought "Why simplify?"

A race in a marathon is very easily completed by a runner who usually never win.
When he is asked by the reporter, he answered:
"before i run this race, i have recce this area and memorise the sign post. Then I run to each sign post that I have remembered. I break down this race to many small races. Hence, I feel this marathon is not very long."
This is the same as our life. We can settle things one by one. And ensure that we had seen the big picture of what we are going to do and be a forward-looking person.

For example, I have done my IOP quite well.
So next is TOK and CCA stuff ((:
And at the end im out from this IB life!!
------------------------------------------------------------------

My Life

Do you know that life is like a musical notes?
You can start off with C- goes up to D and so on..
When you reach High F, there is no more line that helps you to reach greater heights.
Creating your own line to climb up - imaginary line.
To High G, A, B and so on..
Once it disappears suddenly- you will
fall.
fall, not sure where.
maybe back to High F? or worse.

I am not sure if people do realise that friends are like # or 'b'.
They give you a latent support or pull you down.
Friends can give you as many # or 'b' as they want.
However, best friend not only gives you # to reach greater heights
but
they play the music that you have composed- no matter how unsound or nice it is.

Some of the time, I step on the pedal too long-
extending a particular notes to be played longer
procrastinating-
afraid to move on- up or down.

Sadly.
I have not found who is going to play my music that i have composed so far.

At the end of the day, high and low notes make a great song of life afterall.
and then, there will be a last day for us to listen our own song that we have composed.

----------------------------------------------------

Robert Frost wrote, "a road diverged in a wood, and i took the one less traveled by and it has made all the difference"

He lies-
it is not always the case.
unless, the word 'difference' that he means- is not a good difference.

Dropby

I think I will just dropby to write sth here:

stressed-
IBDP- grades- performance
social - assignments rental?
jealousy? - why?
events - busy - over soon
efficiency vs last minute - do your part please..
encouragement vs burden vs understanding-
happiness (gone) - tell me how to laugh.
eyebag.

"If you are blind, you can hear better.
If you are deaf, you see better.
If you are normal, don't be deaf or blind. be more understanding"

MESSED UP!

13 June 2009 and Birthday Gifts

I went to ITE East Simei for Interact Coordinating Committee at 1000h until 1400h.
Omg omg omg- is super far~ (it is boring- uh uh uh)

After that I went to Bugis- wanted to study but apparently is super crowded. So, I just stroll around hoping to buy something. Then I crossed the road to this new mall, Iluma. Quite nice but not all shops are open yet. Today (14June) i am going Bugis again, going to meet my kor's bestfriend to buy my bus ticket to Malaysia and he wants to pass me tea for my kor.

Uhh. Yesterday straving till death. I never eat in the morning. Only after ICC i eat a plate or catered food. Then drink a lychee at Bugis. Still super super hungry. At night then my friend asked me to go eat at Dempsy Hill. I never been there before. Seems like there are a lot of good and ex restaurants there. Uh Uh Uh.

Here are my birthday gifts: (LOLS- so happy)

Firstly is my 8900 blackberry from my three siblings (i hv no picture of it- because i take all these pictures using the phone hehs) THANKS

Then, my bestie buy me this wallet because I said I wanted to be more mature. LOLS. Its super cool~ shiok. THANKS

Braun Buffel Wallet from JF

My friend also gave me chocolates and this pen from Agnes b. THANKS a lot! and small stuffs in the paper bag ((: *I havent eaten the chocolate LOLS

The Cocoa Trees Chocolates from DC

Agnes b. from DC

It is very different in Singapore compared to my hometown that actually the birthday boy is treated by his friends rather than the birthday boy treats all his friends (: haha. And people give the birthday gifts earlier rather than later. Quite unique. I think this makes my birthday more special because I never celebrate my birthday before. Thanks everyone!

I am leaving to Malaysia on 16 - 23 June 2009. Anyone wants to get anything from KL? Text me.

11-12 June 2009

Yesterday morning was doing my work and ate opposite road- uhh. siao- a lot of work to do (lazy) uhh. After that was baking cake with Felix and Gleen LOLS- quite fun.

Apparently Hall 8 is totally awesome- Felix and I did not know that it is really cool~ buhh.

During baking, we talked about a lot of random stuff like intact and non-intact joke and etc. haha. baking is quite fun xD LOLS

Here are some pictures while we were baking (not all are posted up):

Felix mixing all the egg yolks and the white eggs

Gleen washing the dishes

Holy oven of Hall 8

My name is on the handmade cake (with blueberry layer in between)

Of course I cut the cake because my name on it LOLS

After three monsters kill the cake, K for Kohar and F for Felix
(sorry Gleen) hehs.

Today I went to City Hall for the IT fair~ bought screen protector for my blackberry phone and casing for my blackberry phone and ipod. *so cramp there* but quite happy to shop the things that i need.

I went with my friend and he intro-ed me to his new friend (hoho). After that we go to esplanade and wait for his new friend's new friend (LOLS- hope you are not confused)

Then four of us go to the rooftop enjoying the breeze of air.

View of Singapore from the rooftop of Esplanade

After that only two of us went to eat at a Japanese restaurant (quite nice though the curry, esp the ice cream) LOLS- *forgot to take pictures- aih*

After that we went back to Esplanade and we stopped by at this show by a couple of Japanese that perform without any dialogue but only music effect- very funny and awesome. I gave my 4thumbs- or five if have extra thumb ((:

Anyway, this is free of charge! and it is at common area in Esplanade- BETTER GO!

Awesome, funny, and i laugh my ass out the whole performance!

I randomly want to put this up~ LOLS!
So, save paper everyone!

10 June 2009

Countdown to birthday: 7days
Countdown to exam: 19days

*omg* i just realised it is only 19days left and I havent revised anything *dots*

Recently these days were very meaningful for me in some ways. ((: Thanks for everyone who add colour to my life--

and I just got my 8900 blackberry curve as my birthday gift from all my siblings ((:
*super shiok* heh. can online using phone- great!

Today I ate this lamian at Sengkang (: quite nice! hehs.

Oh ya- recently I watched this two youtube video:
the magic flute - be amazed by her voice
susan boyle Britain's got talent - quite nice for her age
anyway, all of you might have watched them (i am kinda slow in this kind of info) hehs.

I am going to Malaysia on 16th-23th June 2009.

And my phone number is changed- please sms my old number to get my new number ok? ((:

I have watched to movies this week:
Terminator Salvation
very nice for me but sadly i did not follow the Terminator 1, 2, and 3
and for me, the two male actors look similar *confuse me*

Night at the Museum 2
I still prefer the first one but this one also not bad (: quite funny and should be enjoyable

*LOL LOL LOL* my birthday is coming up soon!

School?

Is school really important, very useful, and promising our future?

There was a topic something about this somehow (eventhough it is supposed to be living a good life) --

Actually I also confused, whether excel in school is very very important--?
Whether building closer relationship with friends is more important?
I definitely say that relationship is more important but somehow,
I cant just neglect my school work. I feel that I have my responsibility-heart in schoolwork.
At the same time, I cant really cope with the relationship that I have with my friends- some, can- but some of them, I just cant follow the way I think.
That is why sometimes I decide to be independent (and now on I think I should be more independent). No more waiting for friends for silly funny thing but to have more decision on what I should do. Like what people say, you wont jump into the well when other people tell you so.

Talking too much is maybe my another problem. From now on, I think I should cut down unnecessary talk. Should it make me look more mature, it even better.

On the other hand, putting to much serious thing in school, it will lead to less fun that I will get during my youth time. So, this is the difficult part: where is the line?

Grades do not seem that #1 important in life, but pressure that keep me stressed.
Family? - eventhough they dont really mind if I get what I can, as long I put in my effort.
But, how about scholarship, kiasu and lazy peers (somehow they affect me), teachers, and many others.

I want to enjoy life, but it seems impossible in this state.
Should I enjoy in this manner. and i have no choice. It is life- it is fate.

Step back, Stay, and Reflect

It has been a long time since the last time I wrote a post in this blog.
So difficult to find time in the midst of IB life.

I have no idea whether the gap between IB and secondary life is really that big,
or is it because the late start of school this year-
or is it just fated to be like this?

Weekend now doesnt really like a weekend.
Weekdays now become more intensified as weekdays.

I dont want to extend day to be more than 24hours so that I can finish my IB life asap
but at the same time I dont have enough time to finish my work eventhough I can quite cope with the datelines.

I am going to India in two weeks time. Hope it is not affected with the swine flu issue, so it wont be cancelled.

I feel so confused-- with life-- with friends, and other things.
I do envy some people
and I dont know why people are just too unique until we cant really open to each other.
Some people are just very irritating but some are quite good to be with.
Even I say so, I do think that I am irritating for some people.
Sometimes I want to do good things, but ended up worse.
From now on, I think I will stay close within myself- not locking the door within me but at the same time I wont really expose myself- keeping most of things myself and find the correct person to share what I can share to others.

Currently I think I only close to less than 5 people.
Really looking forward to meet each one of them- celebrating birthday and etc.

I feel so wrong to be me-
I think I just dont fit with my peers, not because I am outstanding in a sense that I am good but I think I am outstanding in a sense that I am awkward.

If people do think that they know how much I envy other people, I still think they do not know how much that I envy people.

Now, nothing much can be done-
I only can try to finish this 1.5years of my scholarship and see how thing goes.

There are still many things that I can write- maybe next time.

Most of my posts might sound that I never appreciate good things. I do appreciate them, but most of the times bad things tend to pull all my mood down and cover up those good things.

FAME 2009

Everytime I want to speak up,
blog is my best friend

I wonder,
if people really do have heart?

(a) why people need to ask repeating irritating question in front of me?
trying to be sarcastic?

(b) why people do not appreciate someone's effort to give entertainment?
and at the end, they just complaint?

(c) "a great success is always come with a great happiness"
it is just sound to cliche to me;
i dont think it is always like that.
Thank you for those who abrupt my happiness yesterday

(d) Problems keep coming on my way;
will settle them-
i am getting so irritated.

Many academic works piling up-
need to catch up.

I wonder when will I attain happiness?
"Enlightenment comes differently for different people"
but how's mine?

Keep Moving

Everyday
there are always things that we can learn from
we can learn from our friends,
strangers,
nature, and
many other things

Today,
I learn from animals, fishes,
(I wonder if they can talk,
express their feelings)
They keep moving,
continuing their lives,
no matter what happens,
bad or good,
they still moving forward.

------------------

I feel that I am working everyday 24/7
whether it is school work, boarding school, or other matters
I dont even have enough time to sleep well.

Today I went to science center to have an A* gathering
(I dont really know many of the others)
I went to watch Sea Monster
The theatre is awesome- esp the huge screen
after that we went inside the Science center and
having catered lunch there.

After that,
my friend picked me up from Science Center to Jurong Point, IMM, and Bras Basah
to buy materials for decoration for FAME.

I hope FAME ends asap.
I am really stress.
I feel that the organisation is lack of understanding of each other-
SELFISH
they dont even offer their helps to the others,
they just want to be dismissed fast- not caring about the others.
I hope the next committee can handle this problem.

Hence,
a lot of schoolwork is kinda neglected-
need to finish everything asap!
and test also coming this week.
I wonder if I can do all these.

Today is Earth Hour,
now I am writing blog in the darkness.

I am still moving forward-
not sure when i will stop moving.

Thanks to J
Will meet you tomorrow morning! XD

------------------

Most people are lonely
but they are afraid to say it out loud
They pretend not lonely,
they are killing themselves inside their heart.

I am lonely
And I know that I am lonely
I admit that I am lonely
I will wait and keep trying to have my true friends.

I Am Worried

Everytime I try to be happy-
there is always something that prevent me to be.

Advices and great phrases are spoken to me-
but I dont know if that really affects me in a long term- for me- they are just temporary.

Get shortlisted for CCA squash and get thru' the try out-
I dont know if I should be happy for it, knowing no one in my cohort,
they seem like strangers to me, or more precise, they dont like me.
I have no idea if they are friendly or not,
maybe I only need to start to have a clean sheet of paper about them,
not judging them over appearance.
Or else- I should be blaming myself.
"be yourself" - is this really what we want?
For me, I am sick of being myself- regretting to be myself.
Why I am not as 'manly' as them? People might think that I am not like what a boy should be. Is it my appearance, or what? Am I really turning 18 yo this year?
I am wondering if people out there, students, who are thinking the same like me, where his surroundings are full of great people, and you feel yourself is just a piece of crap, neglected.

Valentine's day. As usual, single.
Went out with my roommates for a buffet and watch movie.
Arrived at boarding sch playing squash and closing my day by online and blogging.

Is blog the only thing where I can pour my heart and mind out? This unreal world?
No shoulder to lean and no ears to listen to me in this real world.

Welcome to IB life!
Stresses are just about to arrive to my brain- undescribable.
five point twelve, happened to be a scholar class. Let see what will happen in two years time.
EE and TOK- im clueless.

Note to all people out there:
If you dont know how it feels to live alone, totally without your family or even a relative in a country, it is really horrible. Friends will be your only hope- wishing their presence and care for you. However it is not easy to come- with all the different cultures, language, and styles-
thats what happen to me. Dying alone- hoping to have a truly good friends.