My gratitude to ...

My friend said that my blog is too gloomy.
So now I want to say my gratitudes to people that I can remember..
Might be long and random, but I mean them a lot!! (not in order)

1. My drivers
who always sent me to school very early morning when I was schooling at my hometown

2. My maid
who nurtures me in my hometown and make me independent

3. My sister
who takes me to her house and family to teach me things in life

4. My mom
who has left--
and born me, supports me, and teaches me something that very precious without saying anything.. leaving her marks.

5. My dad
who might feel lost, is kind to me, and fulfil things that I want.

6. My second brother
who is giving a 'manly' behaviour in life for me to consider

7. My first brother
who is tough and could be some examples in some areas

8. My --dead sister
who I hope to be here in this world, I hope can see u here..

9. Gleen
who has been a good friend-- somehow-- even I 'not good' to you sometimes

10. Junsiong
who I treated as best friend even u dun treat me as so and taught me a lot of stuff in this life,
I hope u are happy and in good terms with your bestest friend there..

11. Ronald Gan
who accompanied me to shop and watch movie, appriciate them a lot!

12. Katie
who said that I changed her life,,--somehow-- perhaps..

13. classmates in Cornelius413
who regard me as their classmate

14. Uncle in the kitchen
who provides me food =)

15. Matthew
who accompanied me sometimes

16. JiaYuan
who I hope can be good friend with

17. Anderson
who wanted to listen to me

18. My brother in law
who loves me-- even it is not shown directly

19. the sky and grandstand
who allows me to stare and sit on to cry

20. actors and actress in the movies
who give me some lessons or moral to think about and become as examples

21. Samuel, Kalvin, and Yoka
who give me chance to play badminton in interhall competition

22. Ms. Alice Pang
who gives me support and courages

23. Ms. Goon
who appreciates my school works.

24. Ms. Chia
who encourage me a lot in everything I have done and do

25. All those 'stupid people'
who gives me big problems so that I can learn something real in this life and do not take things for granted

26. Victor
who allows me to be with his bestest friend for a while. Thanks

27. Indon schoolmates
who gives me all feelings -- laughters and sadness -- in past years

28. Joshua
who wanted to meet me

29. Doctors and nurses
who at least do their best to survive my mom

30. Ian
who accept me as roommate

Sometimes I just want to laugh--
when I want to cry inside

Sometimes I want to have someone who cares me a lot by my side--
when I look strong outside

Sometimes I want to be appreciated--
when I have done my best

Sometimes I want to have normal life--
when the others look so happy of it

Sometimes I feel so lonely--
when thousands people are surround me

Sometimes I feel so weak--
when people think I am so strong and tough

Sometimes I want to shout all my problems--
when I have no courage to shout

Sometimes I just want to end my life--
when everything is just so nothing for me..

Sometimes people think I am so good--
when actually I am a bad person

Sometimes people think I am super smart like robot--
when actually I feel the burden of it and actually I am not that smart.

I just want to cry..
on a shoulder where I really can rely on..