Untitled

Humm--
I dunno whether my good friend angry with me or..
yah--
this afternoon i was gazing to the sky,
while rugby match was on.
thinking what I have done lately.
I was so sad--
yeahh-- i am.
Err- I just need my good friend to talk to i guess.
Or am I too dependent on him?
Umm--
school is not that nice also..
I was super moody today--
My classmates do not seem like know what is happening to me.
I am not blaming them--
Or was I just being too emo?
or I could not be a person that sociable?
I guess I am sociable-- I like to talk--
but .. I just dont know how to describe myself now; my feeling.

Exam is coming up also.. This thursday, next monday, next thursday, then whole week..
I need to revise..
Mugging mode?
with this feeling of loneliness, -- guilty..

Humm-- my phone was vibrating just now--
my good friend sms me-- =)
i tot he was angry initially, maybe he just busy--
maybe i shouldnt think too much and live normal life--

lolx..
加油
kOhar.

Heaviest burden ever--

Now Im sitting down next to my room window..
Looking at the dark sky..
I really dont know what to do..

My sister kinda push me on this 'thing'
And I somehow feel so bad--

I wanted to share with my 'bro'
but he didnt reply--
he said he was in laundry room but he did not..
i was waiting actually,
but I never see him--

bahh-- life sucks.

all the sms from her are killing me--
how long should I keep all these--
and i cant forgive myself..
cant do anything to apologise to my mom--
crap!

i dun feel like going to school and meet anybody anymore..
aaaaaaaarrrrrrghhhhhhh!!
what should I do!!
run from my family?

Its very sad when I need a good friend,
he is not here.

And now I have lost my mom-
maybe my family after this--

screw up my life-

I was finding what is the title of the song that my bro looking for--
now i cant find it--
maybe he doesnt realli consider me as good friend?
but sometimes i think he is..
i really cant think!!!!!!!!
screww--

How can these stop!!
who can I trust?
???? who------------
who can I talk to??
Should I escape?!!!

Screw up everything!!

Whoaa--

Today I woke up--

Then I went for breakfast, alone..
Charsiew rice.. rockz--

I cut my hair--
after 49th day of my mOm.
eventhough looks nice-- but I feel im so ugly sob T_T

went back to 'dead' hostel,
then did some work and lame stuff..

went to temple-- with someone..
haiz.. lucky it was our last meeting..
everything was settled!!
Thanks for Matthew who helped me--
then we went to eat lunch..

This afternoon was so stressful but at the end all settled.

Then tonight was so fun--
not that fun, but at least relaxing =)
I went out with my good friend, my bro'' haha.
I shared my problem and we watched some event going on outside Taka.
I saw Hardi Mirza and Shawn and many other artists lolx.. `cool

In my way back in the bus,
I was smsing with my sister and
she revealed something--.. bluhh--
it strikes me--
and... but nevermind, everything settled..
we felt so sad to lose our mom..
many things I havent done for her..
... its too late for me ...

Good night mom,
my family,
my bro..

Thanks for them--

Love,
Kohar

What makes me change.

I have been complaining too much--

and I know that all these problems will never end..

I have tried to solve my problems,

one by one--

and it kinda working well..

I have been observing my friends lately--

I realise that not only me that have a big problem..

I might have a big problem from my point of view,

but they also have their own

I only don't know about it.

I have changed somehow,, i guess..

in friendship matter,

I have two best friends, i guess-- in my perspective

and I hope they also consider me as they good friend.

they are J and V

I realli treasure them a lot

he is the one that motivate me to continue and move ahead

all his words are so precious for me

every single word motivates me so much--

I want to show my biggest thanks to him but

there will be no biggest way for me to show it to him.

maybe-- lifelasting friendship

organisation matter,

I relieved that I do not clench the title--

it is also because I realise they are much better than me -- to be honest

We still can work together, have fun..

and smile! =) cheer for them all--

school stuff,

time flies -- i know

time to rush them all!! haha..

my biggest problem in my life,

I know it is very difficult to get rid from it

but I try so much--

I know I still stick to it somehow--

but I know that it is not as much as before..

I will settle this big problem and erase all the neccesary.

My life after all is not a bad thing--

because of my best friends =)

I try to change myself

even people say be yourself.

because myself now is screwed up--

hope people will at least appreciate me and dont just mock me--

Miss my best friends now--

"The nights are lonely,

The days are so sad, but.."

Finally, I go out!

I miss Orchard--
the air of the streets, and everything..

And I went with my good friend.

Actually I was waiting for an hour.
But, ya.. I was waiting patiently.
He said at 6pm but I did not know that he had activity going on.
It's ok for me, because I really consider him as a super good friend,
i hope he considers me as his good friend too.

We were having dinner and strolling around Orchard.
And talked so many stuff--
pheww-- so happy.

And we were listening to songs also lolx.
super nice songs!
haha. rawkz.

Hope can go out again another time.

Anybody there who cares me?

This morning woke up
got scolded by hallmistress bcs of fan and air-con.

Went to school
my mind screwed up

Lessons ended without any trouble, luckily.

Went back hostel,
directly did homework.

Slept.

Took shower.

Had dinner.

Now study time -- my Chemistry suckz -- finding ppl to help me
hope he can help me.

Maybe there is one day when I cant cope with all my probs,
then I shd surrender everything

kOhar.

Wish List

If there is a wishing well,

or there is something that can grant my wish.

I have a wish, my only wish:

-true best friend-

I hope that someone, anyone, can be my true best friend forever.

kOhar.

Will my brain explode one day?

Life is getting even more difficult for me.
So many stuff in my mind--

1. School work
Exams are coming
I failed my English last term
Homework

2. Family
I miss my mom a lot
I cant do anything to my family except study only
I only sms with my sisters and brother
I concern about my father

3. Living corner
I am running for JCRC Vice Pres
I need to explore more, but how

4. Friends
At living corner, I have no good friends
At school, I have no good friends
Currently, I have a good friend (perhaps) but I dont know what he thinks.
I consider him as my brother but I dont know what he thinks.
Maybe Im too selfish to want people by my side when I need him.
But..

5. CCA
I am running for Exco in my CCA
I am organising for FOA
I have clashing CCAs.

So now I really dont know what to do..
I really hope i have a friend that can be by my side when I need them but things are not easy.

kOhar.