Why do you leave me forever?

Time is still ticking and my mind goes everywhere.
Now I am in the airport, rushing back home.

The last breath she blew..
she is no more..
why?
why must be her?

I do not know what to do,
I just cant accept it.

The last hug we had,
the last 'I love u' I had said to her, and that was the only once,
now it is too late for me to express my love to her.

I just do not understand why she surrenders her life.
Leaving our family in this world.

I still remembered the last time she let me go at the airport,
she was not crying that time!
which last time she always cries.
At last phone, she was not crying when talk to me!
which last time she always cries.

Now I cannot hear her words,
they become words only, striking in my mind.

How should I get along with this life without her.
Where I still got a long way to go and it is not witnessed by her.

The last time I called her,
I said that she must be strong, and wait me to go back there,
but she is unconcious, I am sure that she could hear me.
But she left me even before I arrived there.

I really do not know what to do--
My 2nd last call with her, she asked how were my exams and I said its ok.
She is very proud of me!
She will go to her friends and tell them that I have a scholarship in a good school in Singapore.
I do now want to fail her and my family.

She--
is no more.
but always in my heart.
Now I know how it feels when you are left by your beloved one..

...--i love u xo much, mom.