Saturday, June 21, 2008

Singapore's Day

Errmm..
Everything looks alrite here..
Enjoying--
my friend-- J.
then eating cakes, hahas.
chattin''

then tomorrow do work! hahas.

kOhar.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Back to Singapore

Back to Singapore tonight!!
Back to school.
Back to boarding school.
Back to those life.
Hoaaaaaaaaemm--

kOhar.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Jay Chou

Apparently, Jay Chou is so cool. haha.
-wannabelikehim- (eventho kinda impposible) haha. nvm.

erm.
school life is going to back from the outerspace soon.
And I still got chemistry and langart homework. bah.

I think when I go back to Singapore, I need to settle some stuff.
friendship matters, living place, and-- school stuff.. kyaa!! haha.

jay chou rox. =X

kOhar.

Birthday Dinner

It is going to be very boring tho--

Super boring--

Nevermind-- it's to make my family happy, not me--

Thanks for those who trying to make me happy, but I think you are not dude.

bahhx.

Monday, June 16, 2008

birthday

It's just a birthday afterall.
bahh. huh.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Role Model

It has been a period I never write blog..

My birthday is tomorrow-- and as usual, I do not feel anything is goin' to happen.
Is just a birthday anyway, only expecting present from family.. that's all..
i'm thinking to treat my friends. humm. since i nver treat my friends during my bday before.

now, left are my lang art homework and chemistry is in progress. huff. i do not know how to finish all of them. Im getting crazy btw.

Happy holiday? Family is not the best option after all. Friends are the best. I miss my friends in Singapore. Sob.

My family kinda boring.
My mom has left.
My father is having his own 'business' everyday.
My sister is super duper busy even she has no time for us or her children. I mean, "special time" which exclude her working stuff.
For example, when I asked her to go out once.. which is yesterday.. she was driving and I think she was on phone the whole journey.. Bahhhh..
My brother is super bad-tempered and does not realise that I am beside him, so that make me guilty (yea, I just too sensitive, even tho the words are not for me)
Worse part, he got some problem with his girlfriend. Bahh. Make me headache. It is only 2 days ago when we had dinner together. I just do not want to take part in his problem. However, if he lazy to talk, he will ask me.. He tot im what huh!! rabbit?
My another brother.. I have no comment for him.. He has his own life with his family.. I dont expect much from him..

Finally, I know they care me somehow but I just do not want it, i guess. I am too tired of their behaviors. thats why I feel that better I do not go back home and stay over at my friend's house.

I realli need someone rite now.

kOhar

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Thinking From Much Too Much

I do not know why..
Why I think so much over all things..
Pheww~~
kOhar.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Leaves

This morning I didn't go to my bro's stead bday surprise party
but I went to my ex-primary school to collect my nephew n niece's report books.
It's kinda touching there..
The place is not changing at all..
Only a bit here and there..
The collection of report book is not that glamorous or whatsoever
and the theme is kinda so so.. "Thank You Father n Mother"
But when the times come I just feel sad..
Instead of their mother collects their report books, I was the one who collected them.
Perhaps it is just a nothing for me but in their point of view,
I am kinda sure that they are expecting their parents to come.. Either one, both are better.
To see some children with no parents are coming is so sad..
Pity them, I know what they feel, not exactly, but at least I know..

I think I am too despo already.
Finding courage to talk to my sister?
Talk to her about my problems.. bahxx..
after few minutes thinking, i have remove that silly idea from my mind..
my two brothers?
no hope..
They are supposed to be good examples?
issit easily get angry in traffic?
or.. punctuality?
I know I am not that perfect but at least I need a figure to follow.. at least, yeah..

My alternative way is to find a friend..
Just simply a single friend..
One enough..
who really wants to know me, talk to me..
shares with me.. and have fun together..
it is impossible to hang out daily but at least I have someone in my heart..
yeah.. to talk and think about..
how wonderful it is..

Maybe its true what my counselor said that guys are hardly answer directly
that's true..
It is not easy to ask those friends to hang out together..
and
I have no idea how to get a girl..
Sometimes I am too despo to think that no girl likes me..
but sometimes I think the other way round..
Haizz.. I wonder if there is one..
Really the one..
Someone who I like, and vice versa.

Im gonna plan my schedule for this week until having my way back to lovely Singapore
including doing essay..
reading novels..
locking myself in the room..
and..
finding friend(s).. =)

I just need somebody to help me get rid of this weirdo activity-- totally out..

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Emptiness

It's really empty--
Yeah-- that's true..
Everything..

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Invisible Warmth

Invisible Warmth

It's really something that I cant see
Something that I really need
now..

After my mom passed away,
I didnt really want to talk much about it to my other family members
but sometimes when we talk about it
we do not really want to dwell to much into it
we sometimes just put a grinning mask or..
just simply smiley mask on our faces

I do not know why $ are so important
moreover to my dad.
I know it is a necessary to have $ for surviving
but it does not take prior
some more related to my mom's death

Sometimes I am thinking to have a 'bro'
or girlfriend or good friend..
who if I stay beside him/her,
I will feel comforted or feel the invisible warmth..

A brother to hug..
A girl friend to share my room in my heart..
And a good friend to have a pleasant conversation..
It should be somwhere in the corner of this round world..

It is a bit funny if I am interested in a girl right now--
could be called accidentally
but I knew her before-- even we never meet
but somehow we have talked some stuff..
Should I like her? But
if I like her, will she like me? *pif*

Err..
My family..
They are just too busy--
too little time to have chat nice conversation and strolling around with me
working--
schools--
etc..
I just feel unwanted somehow--
not really unwanted,
it is just nothing difference whether I go back or not..
It does not really matter to them..

Somebody in hometown--
help me!!
somebody in Singapore--
help me when I'm back,, soon..