Greener at Other Sides

Heard of phrase
"the garden at the other sides is always greener than yours"?

I have no idea why I, somehow, like to comparing people--
Am I too despo to find a friend; i mean really good friend.

Not all people are open to others.
I always think that I have the greatest pain experience of life compared to my peers at my age. However, some people actually have something that is more painful compared to me~

Comparing with others;
they are more handsome while I am not,
when I see tall people, I want to be as tall as them
when I see short talented people, I want to be like him.
What is in my mind actually?

seeing people with talented sports, I want to be as good as them;
-- am i wrong doing this? but this is me- despo looking for friends, you may call me that.

Now I am regretting myself, falling into the trap that darken my life-
not just once, but many times.
I cant forgive myself, I have no idea how to pay back this guiltiness.

For those people out there,
are you doing the same thing like me?
I have no idea-- maybe I am just like this, forever?

I played a game in my psp last time,
and there is a phrase at the end of the game,
"Why people are comparing each other?
It's because comparing is to prove our existence."

....
How is my life going to be?
No hands to hold on
No shoulders to cry on
No buddy to be together with..